


But He's My Best Friend?

by TsukkisKinnie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Domestic Violence, F/M, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27531958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TsukkisKinnie/pseuds/TsukkisKinnie
Summary: Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi are best friends. Why is it that now Tsukishima's heart skips a beat when Tadashi looks at him? Why is his best friend the only thing on his head every day? What does it meani'll update every Sunday night
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

'Silence. Finally, some peace and quiet. All is good-' "Keiiii! Wake up, it's time for school!" 'Damn it' 

Tsukishima got up from his bed and put on his glasses with a groan. He put on his uniform while contemplating making an excuse to skip school but he remembered about volleyball practice and the long lecture that would await him from his captain. "Whatever. I'll just put up with it and sleep when i get home'

He finished brushing his teeth with a sigh as he thought about having to see Kageyama and that annoying tangerine, Hinata. On the plus side he was able to see Yamaguchi, whose presence relaxed Tsukishima, though he'd never let him know that.

He walked down the stairs into the kitchen where he was greeted by his mother and... his brother. "Good morning Kei!" "... Yeah" he grabbed a piece of toast and left.

The first thing he was greeted by when he walked out the door was a bright smile attached to his best friend. "Good morning Tsukki!!" Ah, there he was. The only thing Tsukishima looked forward to seeing each morning. He gave him a blank stare along with a nod.

As they were walking Tsukishima glanced to the side where Yamaguchi was and he noticed how great the sun looked on his lightly tanned skin, how his smile shinned so brightly- even brighter than the sun, how cute his- did he just say cute? No, Yamaguchi wasn't cute, sure he was good-looking but he wasn't cute. 

He decided to keep looking forward as Yamaguchi rambled about whatever. Tsukishima always thought it was adorable but again, he'd never let him know that. 

They finally got to school and made their way to the classroom. "Hey, Tsukki. Do you think that Hinata and Kageyama are going to volleyball practice today?" 

'Why is he concerned about those two idiots?' "I don't know. Probably, those idiots never miss practice." Tsukishima huffed and the conversation ended there.

It was 10:15. They were in math class listening to the teacher talk about some new formula they had to memorise by the end of the week. Tsukishima's attention was elsewhere though. He was too busy looking at Yamaguchi again. 

How could he not look at him though? Especially when the sun was, again, shinning on Tadashi. This time the sun was shinning on his freckles. 

He looked oh so perfect, he was almost glowing. Tsukishima couldn't keep his eyes off so he didn't notice when the teacher came over and she whacked her ruler on his desk.

"Tsukishima Kei. Tell me, do you think Mr. Tadashi is more important than my lesson?" He heard a bunch of giggles coming from the class. 

" No. I'm sorry Miss." 'Damn fucking bitch. Mind your own damn business.'

"Thought so... Anyway class today you'll be working on-" 

Tsukishima looked at the clock on the wall '10:46? was I really looking at him for that long? What the fuck? How did that even happen?'

He focused on class for the remaining 4 minutes. When the bell rang he felt a tap on his shoulder. "Hey, Tukki. Are you okay? It's not really like you to get distracted during class"

Tsukishima could see the concern painted on Yamaguchi's face. "Yeah I'm fine. I don't think I got enough sleep last night."

"Oh okay. Try sleeping earlier after volleyball practice ok? Also, Mrs. Takahashi doesn't know what she's talking about. I know that you were just looking out the window." 'Yeah the window.'

Tsukishima had never been more grateful for an object to be so conveniently placed. "Yeah" was all he said then they walked around school during their ten minute break. 

The same thing happened again and again until they finally got to volleyball practice. To say Tsukishima was tired was an understatement. He barely had enough energy to put a little effort into practice. 

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi walked in and Yamaguchi greeted everyone that was already there. Hinata ran up to both of them excitedly jumping up and down waiting to be able to play. Tsukishima ignored Hinata's whines and walked straight into the locker room. Yamaguchi walked in soon after. 

As they were both getting undressed Tsukishima was looking at Yamaguchi's body. 'Damn it you fucking pervert. Look away. You look like a creep.'

Even then Tsukishima couldn't stop himself from looking at Yamaguchi. It was almost impossible when he saw how he had lightly outlined abs on his tanned skin. Even with all the freckles he still looked great. 

Tsukishima didn't know how to stop himself from thinking like this. So, like any normal person he slammed his head on the locker. 

He went to the nurse to treat the forming bruise on his forehead, it was worth it though, he no longer thought about Yamaguchi. Instead it was replaced with the pain from throbbing bump on his forehead.

He was fine for the rest of the day even while listening to Kageyama and Hinata bicker about particles in the air and why it was Hinata's fault Kageyama sneezed.

"Never thought you'd know anything about particles in the air Kageyama. I didn't even think you'd be capable of thinking about anything other than volleyball."

He and Yamaguchi snickered as Kageyama was being held back by Tanaka. 

It was finally the end of the day. It was pretty dark out but at least Tsukishima was able to see the stars. 'They kinda look like Tadashi's freckles- Why am I thinking about him again?' 

"Hey Tsukki, are you okay? You bashed your head pretty hard back there. It was pretty careless of you." 

"Shut up Tadashi." He didn't want it to come out sounding that harsh but he can't take it back now. 

"Oh sorry Tsukki." 'Damn it Tsukishima. Do one thing in your life right for once' He did 't take it back though.

The rest of the walk home was silent. Once they got to Yamaguchi's house Tadashi was the first to speak, "Goodnight Tsukki. Sleep well." 

Tsukishima stared at him for a moment before speaking, "Uh, yeah. Sleep well Yamaguchi."

As he walked away from Yamaguchi on the way to his own house he put on his headphones. Music was playing while he distracted in his own thoughts.

That night Tsukishima spent hours trying to sleep but it was difficult since there was a person he couldn't get out of his head. Tsukishima was so confused as to why he was thinking about Yamaguchi so much. 

He was so frustrated trying to figure it out, he wanted to scream and the uncomfortable silence around him wasn't helping. He sighed and turned to his phone. He decided to text the person causing this agony. 

Yama

Me:  
Hey, Tadashi  
U awake? 

Yama:  
Oh!  
Hey Tsukki :D  
You don't usually text so late. Are you ok?

'So energetic this late at night? I mean it's kinda cute ' this time he didn't catch himself thinking that

Me:  
Uh, not really  
I just couldn't sleep...

Yama:  
Oh  
That's terrible :(  
is there something on your mind?

'yeah you'

Me:  
No.  
I guess I was just wondering if you'd wanna have a sleep over at my place tomorrow. 

Yama:  
Yeah :D  
that sounds great.  
It's been a while since we've had a sleep over  
Should I come over after school?

Me:  
Yeah. Just make sure to bring clothes.

Yama:  
Oh ok. I'll do that  
Yama  
Uh hey tsukki i'm getting pretty tired. i think i'm gonna sleep now k? 

Me:  
K.  
Goodnight Tadashi

Yama:  
Goodnight Tsukki :)))

This made Tsukishima feel better. Sure he didn't text much but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy Yamaguchi's responses. It made him feel more comforted and relaxed so he decided he should try to sleep again.


	2. Chapter 2

It was morning again. Tsukishima had woken up himself this time. 'God, this is so fucking annoying. Why can't I be lucky and have a pterodactyl fly in here and eat me already?'

He did his usual routine and walked out the door. He was expecting to be greeted with a bright smile and a "Good morning Tsukki!" but there was no one there. 

He thought maybe Tadashi was running a little late, which was odd since Yamaguchi was rarely late, so he decided to wait for him a couple more minutes. When he didn't show up after 6 minutes Tsukishima decided to text him on his way to school.

Yama

Me:  
Hey Tadashi  
Where are you?

Yama:  
Ahh  
Sorry Tsukki  
I can't come today :(  
I got sick :((

Me:  
It's fine.  
Want me to bring you something after practice?

Yama:  
No. It's fine.  
I wouldn't want to bother you

'does he really think that?'

Me:  
It won't bother me  
Besides, we did agree to a sleep over so i'd need to come over to yours since you can't come over to mine anymore.

Yama:  
!!!  
Omg you're right!!  
I almost forgot about thatt

'So cute. Fuck- wait that's not what i meant'

Yama:  
Well i'm not craving anything right now and we already have medicine here so i think that all i'd need right now is you :))

'Holy fuck. Did my heart just skip a beat? I think I might be getting sick'

Me:  
So cheesy  
But k 

Yama:  
It's settled then :D  
See you later

Me:  
K  
Bye

So then Tsukishima put his phone away and started focusing more on the road. He was already pretty close to school so he didn't play any music.

He was in his first period. He wasn't able to focus. His mind was clouded with thoughts of Yamaguchi. What was he doing right now? Was he actually ok? Is he gonna die? Was his cold actually worse than it seemed? 

What was he even doing? Why did it matter so much to him? It never mattered before. It's not like Yamaguchi had never been sick before. 

Every time Yamaguchi got sick he'd always be fine two days after. It'd be the same this time so Tsukishima didn't know why he was so worried "-Shima Kei! Pay attention please. We wouldn't want you failing our class now, do we?" " Uh no ma'am. I'm sorry."

'Damn it. Why does that keep happening?' He just didn't know. He was fine a week ago, why was this happening now? 

It was lunch time by now. Tsukishima just wanted the day to over already. He'd just have to deal with the other half a little more and he'd be ok. 

He didn't have much of an appetite so he put on his headphones and made his way to the library. He sat down on one of the bean bags and decided to re-read the section he had to take notes on in biology.

He wasn't able to concentrate much on it either so he just sat there letting the music blast in his ears while he thought about random things. 'Who would've thought I'd miss Yamaguchi this much? It's weird.'

The bell suddenly rang signifying that he should head back to class. He was able to focus a little better. He figured it was because it was closer to the end of the day. 

He was still exhausted though, but he put up with it because it meant he'd just go to volleyball practice and then be on his way to see his best friend. It was a good thought and got him through the rest of the day.  
~~~~~~  
After putting up with all of his teammates Tsukishima wanted nothing more than to just go to Yamaguchi's house. Tsukishima was already on his way to Tadashi's house. He never realized before how much he liked listening to Tadashi rant about his day or things that happened during practice. Even if they didn't talk it was always nice just having him there by his side.

'It's just one more block and I'll be there.' Even he was surprised at how much he was wanting to see Tadashi. He chose to ignore it though because his he was more focused on walking down the block quicker. 

He finally got to his house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by Tadashi's mother. "Good evening, Mrs. Yamaguchi" he said with a little smile. He quite liked Tadashi's mom as she always radiated comforting energy. 

"Oh! Hello Kei. How have you been?" See what he meant?

"I've been fine. I heard Tadashi was sick?" 

"Oh yeah he is. He's been in bed all day with a fever. He's been better than he was this morning. Want to come in and see him," she asked

"Yeah. Thank you Mrs. Yamaguchi," Tsukishima replied.

He made his way to Tadashi's room. Tsukishima walked in and was hit with the smell of artificial strawberries ('cause real strawberries don't have a smell) and a slight smell of the medicine Yamaguchi must've drunk.

Yamaguchi noticed Tsukishima walk in and tried to get out of bed. Of course Tsukishima wouldn't allow that so he rushed over to Yamaguchi instead. "Yamaguchi, you need to stay in bed."

Yamaguchi smiled up brightly at him. "I know. I'm just so glad to see you haha."

"If you don't get better who am I gonna hang out with at school? It gets boring without you."

"Oh wow Tsukki, I didn't know you'd miss me that much haha," Yamaguchi said with a little smirk. 

"It's not that I miss you. It's just that then there's no one to chat my ear off at school."

"Oh.... I'm sorry, I didn't realize i annoyed you with my all my talking. If you want, I could talk less..." Tadashi looked down with a face that made him look like a sad puppy. 

'Fuck. Go back, GO BACK!'

"Of course it doesn't bother me Yamaguchi. It's nice listening you talk. I don't think you've noticed, but your voice is very calming." That's what Tsukishima considered a nice save. 

"Oh! I didn't know that. I'll make sure to chat your ear off more often then" There was a bright smile on Yamaguchi's face after that.

'Yes, please do'

Tsukishima blushed at his smile so he quickly changed the subject. "Yeah. Anyway, wanna watch a movie together?"

"Yeah. It just can't be The Good Dinosaur. We watched that one so many times already. I think I could recite the whole script in one go." 

"Fine, what do you want to watch then Tadashi," he said as he rolled his eyes playfully.

"Hmm I think I want to watch something scary. Can we watch 'Annabelle'? I tried to watch it one time but I never got to finish it." 

Tsukishima was about to refuse but he couldn't after seeing how excited Yamaguchi looked. "Fine but I'm not gonna comfort you if you have nightmares."

Yamaguchi gave him a blunt look. "Tsukki, I think we all know that the one who's gonna need comforting is you."

Yamaguchi was right, Tsukishima wasn't all that good with horror movies. He'd always end up shaking or not being able to make it through the whole movie. This time he was determined to get through it all, even if it meant he wouldn't be able to sleep for the next three weeks. He was doing it for Yamaguchi after all. 

It was normal to do things for your best friends because the way they look at you makes you feel like your heart is about to jump out.... right?  
Of course it was. People do it all the time. There was nothing weird about it at all. 

They were almost done with the movie. Tsukishima was beyond terrified, but he wouldn't dare complain. He looked over at Yamaguchi and Tukishima could see he was enjoying it so much. He was completely immersed in the movie, only letting out small gasps at jump scares. 

A couple minuted passed by when Tsukishima felt a tap on his shoulder. "Hey Tsukki, are you ok? I can feel you trembling."

Tsukishima didn't want to seem like such a wimp so instead of telling the truth he said," Huh? Oh, I'm fine, I'm just a little cold."

Yamaguchi laughed a bit, "I didn't know you could get cold so easily Tsukki. Wanna come closer to me? I'm pretty warm right now."

'Oh god...'

"Sure, whatever. As long as you don't cough on me or anything."

To say Tsukishima was blushing would be an understatement... he was so red he felt like it'd permanently stain his skin. 

'Look, it's not like we haven't done this before. We've had tons of sleep overs together. This one isn't any different so stop acting so weird," he said trying to convince himself.

He went closer to Yamaguchi, taking in the soft smelling combination of vanilla and coconut. 'Yamaguchi must've changed his shampoo.'

Half an hour passed and he felt a slight weight on his shoulder. He looked to his right only to see that Yamaguchi had fallen asleep on him. It wasn't surprising since it was already 12:46 am. 

Tsukishima turned off the TV and set Yamaguchi in a much more comfotable sleeping position. He already knew where the futon was from spending so many nights at Yamaguchi's house. He set it on the ground and was getting ready to lay down when he heard rustling coming from Yamaguchi's bed.

"Tsukki? Where are you," Yamaguchi said with desperation.

Tsukishima rushed over to Yamaguchi's bed. "I'm right here Tadashi. What's wrong?" 

"Oh. It's nothing. I just thought that you left and I panicked... Tsukki I hope this isn't too weird of me to ask, but can you sleep in my bed with me please? I'm not feeling too well tonight," Yamaguchi said with a shaky tone.

Yamaguchi didn't need to ask twice. Tsukishima was already under the blankets right next to Yamaguchi. "Yamaguchi, are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeahhh," Tsukishima gave him a look, "no. I'm... not, it's just that I sorta had a nightmare from when we were kids."

Tsukishima already knew what he was talking about. Every once in a while Yamaguchi would have vivid dreams about people that use to pick on him when he was smaller.Tsukishima hated it and he wanted to get rid of his dreams, but he knew the only thing he could do for now is to be by Yamaguchi's side and comfort him. 

Yamaguchi wiggled closer to Tsukishima and slowly started to fall asleep again. Tsukishima was blushing but he swore he wasn't going to act weird when Yamaguchi needed comfort. He hesitantly put his arm around his best friend's waist and pulled him closer as he could feel him shaking from the cold of his fever. 

Slowly, he too started to fall asleep with Yamaguchi. He didn't even worry about the horror movie he just watched. He was all focused on his best friend and making sure he didn't wake up from any nightmares again.

In the end it was Yamaguchi who needed comforting but Tsukishima was going to keep that to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a headcanon that Yamaguchi would be the one to like scary movies and Tsukishima would be the one to really hate them ndndndn. Anyway, last chater got some positive feed back and ig now I'll continue writing the story sbbsbd


	3. Chapter 3

It was 3 something in the morning and Tsukishima had just woken up from a dream he was completely confused about. He just didn't know how to feel about it. He didn't like it but he didn't really hate it either. 

In this dream Tsukishima was hanging out with Yamaguchi like usual. The atmosphere felt slightly different than what Tsukishima was used to. He and Yamaguchi were huddled up on Tsukishima's couch drinking chocolate milk. Yamaguchi suddenly looked up towards Tsukishima. Slowly, he gets closer and closer to Tsukishima's face. Surprisingly Tsukishima started to get closer too. 

Their faces were now only millimeters apart and after a few seconds there was no space between them. They started kissing with only a couple pecks but soon it started to become a slow make out session. It wasn't anything sexual.

It was such a soft, warm, heart fluttering feeling. Tsukishima stopped a little out of shock but continued after quickly collecting his thoughts. Tsukishima's hands made their way to Yamaguchi's hair and back. He felt Yamaguchi's hand starting to caress his face. He felt like he was about to die from all the dopamine surging in his brain. 

If his heart hadn't jumped out since the beginning of the kiss then it sure was going to now. Yamaguchi got on top of Tsukishima's lap and deepened the kiss. Tsukishima wrapped his hands around Yamaguchi's slim waist and pulled him closer to his torso. It was all so euphoric and he wanted this to never end.

This continued for about two more minutes until Tsukishima realized what was going on and that's when he woke up. He continued to sit in Yamaguchi's bed for a couple minutes before realizing what happened. He started to freak out silently as to not wake the sleeping angel beside him. 'Fuck... Oh fuck. Oh my god what the fuck. What the fucking fuck was that.'

He made his way to the restroom and stared at the mirror. He looked like absolute shit but that's not what we're focusing on right now. 'Holy hell Tsukishima. What the fuck was that? What- what the fuck is wrong with you??'

He stared at himself for a couple more minutes before going back to Yamaguchi's room. He stood in front of the bed for a good 30 seconds contemplating wether or not he should get in bed with Yamaguchi or lay on futon that was already set up. He chose Yamaguchi's bed. His reason? Simple, everyone has dreams like that about their best friend anyway. Plus he was straight so the dream meant nothing, it was just his brain fucking with him. 

He wasn't able to fall asleep until about an hour after the dream. It was especially hard when Yamaguchi made all those cute sounds while he was sleeping. It was so distracting to Tsukishima but he couldn't stop listening to them, it was just too cute. He had to muffle his screams with the pillow until he lost all energy and was finally able to sleep. He didn't have any more weird dreams that night and he was glad.

That morning he woke up and looked worse than he did last night, in his opinion. Even Yamaguchi teased him about it. "Tsukki you look worse than me and I'm supposed to be the sick one." 

Tsukishima wasn't going to admit it but that statement did hurt a little. He just laughed a bit and said, "you're such an ass Yama."

Yamaguchi laughed and nudged him with his shoulder a little. "I know. It's ok though 'cause I know you still love me."

Tsukishima paused as he felt his heartbeat begin to quicken. "Uh, yeah sure Tadashi haha."

'I think I might have a disease or something. This isn't normal.'

He got up and let Yamaguchi know that he was going to take a shower. He woke up all sweaty and he didn't want to go around all day smelling like a dead rat. He also needed this time to clear his thoughts from whatever was going on with him. 

He went to the restroom and took off all his clothes and stared at his body awkwardly for a couple of seconds. Then he went to get in the shower. He turned on the warm water and ducked a little so that his head would be underneath the showerhead. He stood there letting the warm water flow on his skinny but slightly muscular body. Once his hair was wet enough he started scrubbing his hair with the shampoo Yamaguchi had. 

While he was scrubbing his head he started thinking about the night before. His mind was still on the topic of the dream, did it actually mean something? It surely didn't mean that he liked Yamaguchi. There's no way that'd happen because they're just friends and have been for years. He'd have to google what it meant later. 

He finished showering and changed in the restroom. He brushed his teeth with the spare toothbrush he kept at Yamaguchi's house. He got bored of listening to the rhythmic sound the brushing made so he tried to keep his mind busy. Soon his mind started thinking back to when he and Yamaguchi were younger. He laughed remembering how awkward Yamaguchi was when he came over to Tsukishima's house for their first sleep over. 

Yamaguchi was such a stuttering mess and he kinda looked like a strawberry from all the blushing he was doing. It was still really amusing to Tsukishima and he liked to tease Yamaguchi about it from time to time. He finished brushing his teeth and headed out the restroom. Yamaguchi was sitting on his bed, spaced out. He seemed to be waiting for Tsukishima to come out from the restroom. 

"Hey Tadashi."

"Oh. Hey Tsukki."

His brightness never failed to make Tsukishima's heart feel light, even when Tsukishima didn't notice. Yamaguchi always had such a sweet tone with him. "Uh, you can go and use the restroom now," Tsukishima said while staring at Yamaguchi's hair, as it had caught his eye. 

"Oh okay. Thanks Tuskki."

Tsukishima hadn't realized before but he really liked Yamaguchi's bed head. It looked so soft and fluffy even when it was all messy. Yamaguchi's hair was so shiny and it bounced lightly whenever he took a step. Sometimes it'd distract Tsukishima from whatever he was doing. He couldn't help it, it was just too good to ignore. 

He was too distracted thinking about Yamaguchi to notice that he had come back in. "Hey Tsukki. Are you coming?"

Tsukishima looked at him with a puzzled look. "Huh? To where?"

Yamaguchi laughed at him. "To eat breakfast of course. Did you think we were gonna stay in here all day?"

"Oh yeah," he said as he followed Yamaguchi who was already headed down towards the kitchen. 

He especially loved mornings at Yamaguchi's house. Tadashi's mom always served the best meals, though he'd never let his own mom know that. He also loved the warm atmosphere in Tadashi's house. It always made Tsukishima forget about how stressful things were. As he got closer to the kitchen the smell of waffles, chocolate, bacon, and eggs filled his lungs. 

Tsukishima made sure to say good morning to Tadashi's mom when he entered the kitchen. Even if he had a serious face and a monotone voice while he greeted her, Mrs. Yamaguchi already knew that he was being sincere towards her. He loved that she knew and he was glad that Tadashi's family was so sweet. It was always nice to head to their house when he was stressed out by the problems that happen at home. 

He sat down and started eating the food that was already set in front of him. After a couple minutes Mrs. Yamaguchi joined them at the table. "So how did you guys sleep last night?"

Yamaguchi was the first to answer as he was sick the day before. "I slept really well. I feel so much better today too."

Mrs. Yamaguchi gave a nod of approval and looked to Tsukishima so that he'd give her his answer. 

'Should i be honest or should I lie and say i slept well?'

"I slept well. It was just a little difficult to fall asleep at first."

'It's not so much of a lie so I don't need to feel guilty'

Yamaguchi turned his head and looked at Tsukishima. By the way he looked at him Tsukishima could tell Yamaguchi was asking if he wasn't able to sleep because of him. Tsukishima quickly assured Yamaguchi that it wasn't his fault by shaking his head. Yamaguchi let out a quick breath of relief and continued eating. Tadashi's mom caught it all but she pretended like she didn't see a thing and just let the two eat in peace.

After the two were done eating they knew that they had to wash the dishes. Tsukishima would scrub all the dishes and Yamaguchi rinsed and made sure that they were actually clean. So the two boys got up and started washing the dishes. There weren't that many dishes anyway. 

They were about halfway done when Yamaguchi thought it was funny to put some of the soap suds on Tsukishima's nose. He was laughing hysterically so he didn't notice when Tsukishima got the sponge and threw it at him. It hit the side of his face with a splat and Tsukishima started to laugh too. Yamaguchi started spraying Tsukishima with water from the sink. Tsukishima wasn't able to get near him as he didn't want to get anymore wet than he already was. 

'Stop being such a pussy what's water gonna do to you? Besides look at him laughing his ass off, are you gonna let him get away with that?'

Tsukishima then quickly grabbed both of Yamaguchi's arms and pulled him close. He successfully stopped Yamaguchi from spraying water at him. It took him a couple seconds to realize the position he was in. He quickly pulled away from Yamaguchi and put more soap suds on his face. He had a satisfied grin on his face and let out a laugh. 

"Don't be so satisfied. You only won 'cause you cheated," Yamaguchi said while he crossed his arms and tried to put on an angry face. 

"Oh sure Tadashi. You're just too salty to admit that I won."

Yamaguchi gasped and pretended to be offended. "Hey now, I'm not the salty one here Mr. Salty Susan." 

Tsukishima's eyes widened at Yamaguchi's statement in offence but he decided not to say anything just to leave Yamaguchi with that satisfaction. He liked how smug Yamaguchi looked thinking he had won against Tsukishima. Instead he decided to go back to washing the dishes. Yamaguchi joined him right after, trying not to "further upset" Tsukishima. Pretty soon they were done washing all the dishes.

The two were sitting down on the couch eating popcorn while watching random movies they could find on Netflix. It was kinda boring but the two didn't mind much as they enjoyed each other's company anyway. That's how they spent the rest of the day before Tsukishima went back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly could not think about what to write for this chapter omg but i needed to upload something so um i hope that this was good enough fnxnxn also i think the plot might start to pick up after this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠ slight mentions of suicide and it involves verbal abuse and a shitty father ⚠

Tsukishima had gone home at around 9 at night after spending another day at Yamaguchi's house. He didn't want to leave Yamaguchi's side but he knew he had to go home or his parents would get mad at how much time he spent over there. He didn't understand why it bothered them either, it's not like he was doing anything bad anyway. All he did at his house was lay around or play around. He came closer to his house and he was already able to hear the screaming from both of his parents. 

'Dad must've come home drunk again. I just had to come home right before he did.'

He sighed, getting ready for whatever was going to happen once he entered that hellhole. He opened the door and suddenly his parent's attention shifted to him. Tsukishima tensed up but didn't change his, seemingly, unbothered expression. He hated when this happened as it always made him want to leave his house sooner. It didn't help that his coward of a brother didn't bother helping him with these situations either. 

"Where have you been, Kei?"

'Shit.'

He knew he had to tell the truth or it'd just worsen the situation. "I- I was at Yamaguchi's house. I thought you knew that." 

Tsukishima knew he had made a mistake when his dad rushed over to him, each stride making him more nervous. When his dad was centimeters apart from his face the smell of alcohol and cigarettes filled Tsukishima's lungs. He wasn't able to react to the smell or his dad would find another reason to be angry at him. His dad finally decided to reply to Tsukishima's statement from earlier. "Don't go assuming what I do and don't know, stupid fuck.

"I think I also told you not to go to that bastard's house. It takes away the time you should be using to study and help around this damned house," his dad said with a snarl.

'Just die of a heart attack already, you old bastard.'

"You're right, I'm sorry."

Pretending he was sorry had been easier to Tsukishima after years of pretending for his dad. Thanks to that situations like these became easier to slip out of. 

"Damn right you are. Starting tomorrow you won't be allowed to go to that kids house. I want you here right after school. Got it?" His dad said with a final nasty shout. 

Tsukishima felt a pang in his chest. Even though he spaced out throughout the conversation he still picked up on somethings. He thought it was stupid but he wasn't going to argue about it. He knew his dad would take it as an excuse to worsen the punishment and he didn't want that. He responded to his dad ,"ok" and that was it. 

Once his dad gave him the ok to to Tsukishima went up to his room as calm as he could before throwing himself on his bed and screaming to himself in his head. He lied on his bed for about two more minutes before thinking about what he was going to do about the situation. He first started by telling Yamaguchi about what his dad said. 

Yama

Me:  
hey  
My dad said i couldn't go to your house. 

Yama:  
Ugh i knew that son of a bitch was gonna try something like that one day.

Me:  
Yeah  
I think i know what to do tho

Yama:  
oooo  
what is it?

Me:  
I think i'm gonna need to sneak out to your house at night 

Yama:  
wouldn't that be dangerous tho? like he could find out and you'd get in so much trouble. i don't want that

'Fuck, that's so cute. Oh my god.'

He put that thought aside and thought about what he was going to say next.

Me:  
well yeah but i'll be ok. i've done it tons of times and i'm sure he wouldn't find out this time. besides it's fun when i go against what he says. 

Yama:  
oh but be careful Tsukki.  
see you tomorrow :))

Me:  
Yeah  
see ya 

Tsukishima then started calculating how he was going to sneak out and he was going deep in detail about it. He didn't want to leave any possibilities of him failing so he checked for every outcome. Once he was sure his plan was ready he lied down. He started thinking about how he was going to spend and treasure time with Yamaguchi after school. He figured that he'd leave it for tomorrow and started to fall asleep since it was around 1 in the morning. 

\--------------------------------------------

It had been about 20 minutes since Tsukishima had been asleep and now he was dreaming. He was at Yamaguchi's house, this time they were in his room. They were just playing around and talking on the bedroom floor. It was all incoherent noises but it sounded like a conversation to Tsukishima. Tsukishima had then started to stare at Yamaguchi while he was laughing. 

He couldn't take his eyes off of Yamaguchi's lips. They looked so soft and irresistible. He then looked back to Yamaguchi's eyes and saw that he had the same look. They both got closer to each other and started kissing. This time it was more intimate.

It had more passion than it did the last time. It was more rushed and heated. Tsukishima could feel his chest burning up and he was panting. They both pulled away from each other for a couple seconds before Tsukishima picked Yamaguchi up and brought him to his bed. They also started making out there.

It was all so perfect to Tsukishima. He had Yamaguchi on his lap making little breathy moans into the kiss, trying his hardest not to be too loud. It was almost too perfect, and he was right. Seconds later Tsukishima had woken up. He was panting and he felt his cheeks burning up. 

He tried to get back to sleep but he couldn't. The dream was on his mind and it'd probably stay there for the rest of the night. This time he had to figure out what the dream meant. He grabbed his phone and started googling for answers. None of the answers that came up were what he wanted. 

'The fuck does this mean? I'm not gay. Maybe I'll just keep looking.'

He searched for about 3 more minutes until he finally found what he wanted to hear. "You're not gay. Some people have dreams like that about their friends and that's ok. It doesn't mean anything." He heaved a sigh of relief and sat back on his bed. 

He still felt a little frustrated. He didn't know why but it was making him overly uncomfortable. He decided that he just needed to go outside for a while. He started climbing out of his window. It had already been sound proof so it hardly made any noise.

He was sitting on his roof for a little before he realized it wasn't making much of a difference. He knew it probably meant that he had to see Yamaguchi, but he wasn't sure he was going to be able to face him after the dream he had just woken up from. He decided to go somewhere else. He climbed down from his roof and landed as quietly as possible. Then, he began making his way to the park. 

\------------------------------------------------

It had been a while since he's been here. Tsukishima sat at the bottom of the slide. It'd been funny to him how a couple of years ago that same slide had seemed so tall and dangerous to him. He sat still for a minute letting the calmness of the night wash over him. Then, he remembered how this was the place where he first met his best friend.

Tsukishima remembered how small and scared Yamaguchi had looked. He had felt so bad for him, having to see him like that just didn't feel right. Tsukishima's thoughts were interrupted when he heard rustling and giggling coming from a bush nearby. He walked closer to it being as cautious as he could. To his surprise it wasn't a crack head or a homeless person. 

It had been his captain and his upperclassmen, Sugawara. They seemed to have been making out behind the bush. Why had they chosen they chosen 1:56 in the morning to make out in the park would remain a mystery. Both parties had gasped upon seeing each other. Sugawara and Daichi seemed uneasy having had Tsukishima catch them. 

Sugawara spoke first to break the growing awkwardness. "Hey, Tsukishima. It- it's not what it looks like. I promise, we were just... talking."

Tsukishima wasn't easily fooled so he scoffed at both of them. The couple had a worried look on their faces as if their world would come to an end. Tsukishima laughed at them. "I'm not gonna tell anyone if it worries you that much. God, what do you take me for? Some kind of homophobic loser?"

Sugawara and Daichi looked at each other. A look of relief washed over them and they sighed, leaning into each other. Then Daichi began to speak. "Tsukishima can we talk? Let's sit over there," he said as he motioned over to the swings. 

That's how Tsukishima found himself sat between the couple that radiated such awkward energy. He didn't blame them, he'd also be feeling that way if he was caught making out with someone. Sugawara cleared his throat and began to speak. "So, now you know our secret. Please don't tell anyone, I know you said you wouldn't but I'm still feeling uneasy about it."

Tsukishima stared at him for a while before laughing. Daichi and Sugawara looked surprised as they had hardly seen Tsukishima laugh. "It wasn't much of a secret to begin with."

The couple stared at Tsukishima with confusion painted on their faces. "What do you mean?"

Tsukishima stopped laughing, taking a pause to explain what he meant. "You mean you don't know? You two were so obvious about it that it's all the rest of the team talks about. Plus, Daichi made more obvious because of the way he looks at you all the time. You were more discreet about it, Sugawara."

Daichi blushed and his his face behind his hands. "God, that's so embarrassing. Why didn't you guys tell us you knew?"

Tsukishima shrugged returning to his plain expression, " we didn't want to force you guys out of the closest when you weren't ready. We decided to talk about it once you two were confident enough to officially tell us. Until then we decided not to mention it to you."

Sugawara looked at Tsukishima with teary eyes and a warm smile. He stood up and walked over to him. He looked at Tsukishima for a few moments before leaning in and hugging him. Tsukishima was against it and tried getting out if it but Sugawara just hugged him tighter. He could feel Sugawara thanking him through the hug as he sobbed into his shoulder. 

Tsukishima sighed and awkwardly patted his upperclassmen on the back. From the corner of his eye Tsukishima could see Daichi standing up and walking behind Tsukishima. He assumed it was to hug him too so he groaned. He was right, he felt another pair of arms wrap around his body. He felt like he was suffocating so he let them know and they both let go. 

Sugawara had calmed down a little and wiped his tears. "Thank you," he said.

Daichi had nothing to say so he just nodded and smiled awkwardly, agreeing with Sugawara. Tsukishima looked back and forth between them and sighed. He slightly smiled and laughed a little bit before responding to Sugawara. "You don't need to be thankful. It's the least I could do for you two."

Sugawara gave him one last thankful hug before telling Tsukishima that it was time for him and Daichi to get back home. In the process Daichi also told Tsukishima to get back home and sleep. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and agreed to go home. The three went their separate ways and Tsukishima finally felt at ease. 

He walked home and looked up at the sky. It had always been a thing that he liked to do since he was a kid. Back when his parents would fight he'd always put on music and look out of his window to look at the stars. Sometimes when it was too much, he'd go over to Yamaguchi's house and just sit there in silence watching them with him.

'Yamaguchi. I don't know where I'd be without him. If it weren't for him I probably would've ended my life already.'

Tsukishima wasn't wrong. Yamaguchi was the only person keeping him alive. Even with Tsukishima's shitty personality, Yamaguchi still stayed by his side. He never realized how thankful he was for Yamaguchi. He suddenly felt his heart skip a beat again, he was about to complain but he realized he had already gotten home. 

He looked up at the piece of shit he was told to call home. He stared at it, hoping it'd suddenly burst up in flames but nothing happened. He sighed and climbed back up to his bedroom window. It wasn't that hard since his height helped. He opened the window and crawled back into his room.

He finally got on his bed and went back in his sheets. He stared up at his ceiling as he wasn't able to sleep yet. It took him a couple of minutes and sometimes thinking about Yamaguchi but soon he fell asleep. It was comfortable and it felt so relaxing, better than when he had first fallen asleep hours ago. He had a dream but this time it wasn't anything weird, he probably wouldn't remember anything about it in the morning and he couldn't care less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda incorperated some of the things from my past that had made my personality similar to Tsukishima's so i hope that this turned out ok


	5. The Fuck Up

To say that Tsukishima was glad to be out of the house that day was an understatement. He rushed out of the house without having breakfast or anything so he had to wait for a little before Yamaguchi was at his house. He was excitedly waiting, slightly bouncing on his heels. Tsukishima made sure that no one was around or it'd be embarrassing since he never really did anything like that. He saw Yamaguchi coming towards him and that's when he felt it.

God, it was the most terrible but beautiful feeling. It just had to happen as soon as he saw the person he had been so excited to see. Yamaguchi greeted him the same as always but Tsukishima's mind went blank. He wanted to say something, but he just couldn't say or do anything. He resorted to his instincts and scoffed at him, making his friend slightly uneasy.

He felt bad, of course, but he just didn't know what to do. It was really weird to him and he just didn't want to deal with it so early in the morning. He'd apologize to him later or something. Yamaguchi always forgave him for the stupid shit he did so he was sure it'd happen again this time. Besides, they had to get to school so he wasn't going to spend 10 minutes consoling him. Even if he did want to... Just to hold him for a little bit. 

'Snap out of it, idiot. Now's not the time.'

He started walking towards the school, making sure that Yamaguchi was following him. Yamaguchi was following him but he was looking at the ground this time instead of looking ahead, he was also walking slower than normal. It made Tsukishima feel worse knowing that it was because of him that Yamaguchi was feeling this way. He turned a blind eye to it and just kept walking. 'I'll deal with it later, I promise.'

They arrived at school and Yamaguchi seemed to feel slightly better. He was smiling and, even though it sounded painfully fake, he laughed. He wasn't as bright as he always was and this made Tsukishima angry with himself. Even though he did want to apologize, it was very hard for him so he ignored Yamaguchi as to not cause any more trouble.

Of course, this was a big mistake. This only caused Yamaguchi to become more upset as the day passed by and soon he stopped trying to talk to Tsukishima at all. Tsukishima was also bothered by this but he figured it'd be better since he wouldn't accidentally hurt his best friend this way. It'd only last until Tsukishima was able to get his thoughts, and just everything in general, together. Soon it was time for the two to go to lunch.

Tsukishima was waiting for the usual "Tsukki!" but it never came. He should've expected that it wasn't going to come but what he didn't expect was for Yamaguchi to be talking to someone else. What's more is that he was walking out of the classroom, towards the cafeteria probably, with the same person.

'Seems like Tadashi's got a new friend,' he thought as he scoffed.

He was angry but he felt he shouldn't be. He did, after all, ignore and mistreat his only friend. Tsukishima wished apologizing was easy for him. Maybe then he wouldn't be sitting alone in the classroom with no one to eat lunch with. He felt miserable and felt it even more as he recognized the voice of none other than a familiar tangerine and the other dumbass that was always with him.

He could only guess they wanted one of two things; asking for some advice for volleyball, or they wanted help studying. He hoped it was neither since he didn't want to deal with them. Either way, the two still approached him. "Hey, Tsukishima!"

'God fuck, just go away please.'

"What do you want?" he said coldly. 

Hinata flinched a little at his tone but shook it off right away. "Can you come and help us practice? We need a blocker and you're the only challenging one right now."

"No, go ask someone else," he said without having to think about it. 

He wanted some time alone to think and he didn't want to be disrupted. "Oh c'mon. It's not like you'd be moving around much. You just have to block for us until lunch is over and then you can be sad or whatever again. Besides, this would also help sharpen your skills too!"

He considered it and before he knew it, he was walking towards the gym with two idiots. It's not how he'd ideally spend his lunch but it's not like he had anything better to do, so why not? Maybe this would help clear his head too. They were already at the front of the gym and Kageyama spoke, "Hey, how come Yamaguchi isn't with you? Aren't you two like, always together?" 

Hinata's eyes widened a little bit at the realization. "Now that I think about it, I did see Yamaguchi having lunch with a girl... Do you think he got a girlfriend?" 

Tsukishima's heart started thumping, also feeling heavier. He didn't know why but he didn't like the thought of Yamaguchi having a girlfriend. It just didn't sit right with him at all. "No, I don't think he does. You guys said we were going to practice so focus on that or I'm leaving."

"Sheesh Tsukishima, why'd you get so defensive," Hinata gasped "Do you have a crush on Yamaguchi?"

"What kind of stupid question is that? I don't have a crush on Tadashi. I just know he doesn't have a girlfriend, he would've told me if he did."

'At least I hope so,' he thought. 

He didn't know if Yamaguchi would tell him and that made him worry. He didn't know why it made him worry at all. If it made him that upset then he'd probably just stop hanging around Yamaguchi or something. Tsukishima just really hoped Yamaguchi didn't have a girlfriend. It'd bother him too much if his friend left him behind just to hang out with another person.

"Bro, you're totally crushing," Hinata and Kageyama snickered.

"I said I'm not! Now go inside before I leave, you annoying little shit." 

It wasn't like Tsukishima to get so mad but, talking about the possibility of Yamaguchi having a significant other bothered him and he didn't know why. It seemed like an equation he couldn't solve no matter how many times he thought about it. He'd leave that for another time. Right now he had to practice with Hinata and Kageyama and he did not want to be distracted while working with the two. He knew how serious they got while doing anything related to volleyball and he didn't want to put up with their shit.

\--------°--------°--------°--------°--------°--------°--------°--------  
Lunch was almost over and the three boys were busy putting away the volleyballs and net to use for a later time. Hinata and Kageyama had finished doing their part first so they went and inside the locker room first. They seemed a little too eager but Tsukishima didn't think anything of it. They were Hinata and Kageyama after all, they were probably racing to see who could get changed quicker. Tsukishima didn't want to be in there with them so he waited until they came out.

It had been about 4 minutes and the two had still not come out of the locker room. There wasn't even a sound, which was suspicious since they were always so loud when they were together. Tsukishima went to check on them and he wasn't prepared for what he saw. Even though he had seen many disturbing things, nothing could compare to this at all. Not even that one time he caught his brother having sex with his girlfriend.

Hinata and Kageyama were entangled in each other's arms and they were making out. They didn't even notice when Tsukishima walked in so they continued eating each other's faces. Tsukishima wasn't even able to make a sound even though his mouth was wide open. All that came out was a distorted scream. That was enough for the couple to notice Tsukishima.

Hinata was the first one to react. He gasped and pushed Kageyama away from him. Kageyama just seemed to be as surprised as Tsukishima, since he also didn't move at all. Hinata laughed awkwardly before explaining, "Heyyy Tsukishima. So, um, it's exactly what it looks like... We don't know how it happened but it was just that one day-"

"I don't care. Congratulations, now get out." Tsukishima cut him off.

"Yeah that seems like a good idea hehe," and with that Hinata grabbed Kageyama, who was still processing the situation, and ran out.

Tsukishima sighed knowing Hinata and Kageyama would come back later and talk to him trying to explain what had been going on. Just yesterday he had caught his two upperclassmen making out and then this happened. He wouldn't be surprised if anyone else on the team had been dating each other at this point.

He finished changing just as the bell rang, signaling for him to head back to class already. Just as he was going to class he bumped into Yamaguchi. He thought Yamaguchi would greet him but all the freckled boy did was give him a short smile and walked into the classroom. Tsukishima stood there for about 3 seconds, slightly disappointed, before also walking in. He didn't want to give much thought to what that meant but he had the mind of an over-thinker so trying not to was useless.

It didn't help that the girl Yamaguchi had lunch with also happened to sit behind Yamaguchi in class. It was annoying having to listen to their whispers and quiet giggles in class. He tried to make his annoyance as subtle as possible so that he wouldn't disturb Yamaguchi and his "new best friend". 

Yamaguchi suddenly made eye contact with Tsukishima. They continued to stare at each other until Yamaguchi looked away and continued to talk with that one girl. He didn't want to assume anything but the way the girl sitting with Yamaguchi looked at Tsukishima felt off somehow. He didn't like it so he just turned his head and continued reading whatever the teacher told them to study about.

It was the end of the day and Tsukishima waited for Yamaguchi so that they could go to volleyball practice. He saw that Yamaguchi had already started going out of the classroom and was on his way to the gym. Tsukishima started leaving too while trying not to let the fact that his best friend ignored him not bother him. It was odd not having Yamaguchi talk to him, he was always talking about something and it was weird to see that now Yamaguchi was quiet. Well, he was around Tsukishima at least. 

'Yeah, he seemed to have sooo much fun talking to his little friend earlier. I wonder what that was about...'

He walked in and just as he thought, Hinata was coming up to talk to him. He already felt awkward just thinking about what the conversation would be about. Kageyama followed after Hinata. He just stood beside him and watched as Hinata awkwardly tried to put words together to speak. "Uh- So-.... You see, what happened was- Um.... can you just wait for us after practice?

"We just need to talk to you real quick, we need to clear somethings up." Hinata said as he rushed out that last sentence.

This was all humoring Tsukishima. He was honestly waiting to see what stupid excuse the two idiots would come up with. He thought maybe he'd play around with them a bit and pretend to go along with their bullshit. He rolled his eyes and nodded before heading to the locker room to change into his volleyball clothes. Yamaguchi was still there and from what Tsukishima could see, Yamaguchi was still wearing his school uniform and shaking slightly. 

Yamaguchi was crying. Tsukishima wanted to know why but he knew he'd just make things worse so he changed quickly and walked out. After a few minutes, Yamaguchi came out of the locker room too. His eyes were slightly swollen but you couldn't tell unless you were staring at him closely, and Tsukishima was. He went up to talk to Yamaguchi to ask if he was alright.

Just as he walked up to him, Yamaguchi glared at him. It was an actual, bone-chilling glare. Tsukishima never would have thought the day would come where that glare would be directed at him. Tsukishima stood there frozen, as Yamaguchi just walked past him and started talking to Yachi. He was far away enough that Tsukishima wasn't able to hear what the conversation was about. 

He didn't notice the two other obnoxious second years coming towards him. "Hey, Tsukkiii!" "Don't call me that," Tsukishima fired back. 

"Anyways, did you just get totally brushed of by Yams back there?" Nishinoya laughed. 

Then Tanaka spoke, "Aren't you two like ultimate best friends or something? Like the bestest friends in the world?" 

"Woah, Woah, Woah there, Ryu. You know no one can be the bestest friends in the world when you and I already exist," Nishinoya said, pointing at himself proudly. 

"Yeah you're right. Anyways Tsukki-" "it's Tsukishima," he cut in. "Is something happening with you and Yamaguchi? He seemed to be pretty mad at you earlier." Tanaka said completely ignoring everything else.

Tsukishima didn't want to admit it but Tanaka was right. He knew Yamaguchi was upset with him but he didn't know it was to the point where other people started to notice too. He was going to fix this, he just didn't know-how. Yamaguchi wasn't talking to him and he wouldn't let Tsukishima near him without glaring at him. Who knew what he was going to do if Tsukishima even dared to talk to him, he'd probably slap him or something.

Even then, he still had to apologize. He didn't want to be known as a little bitch who wasn't able to say sorry just because he was scared he was going to get slapped, which was very much deserved. He decided to do it after practice, he was going to grab Yamaguchi's attention then and apologize right then and there. He hated the thought of his best friend leaving him for someone else. He knew he should be happy for him but it just didn't feel right when Yamaguchi was with someone else.

'It's not that I don't want him to have other friends. I'm glad he has a new one, I just don't get a good feeling from that one girl. She's too suspicious.'

He had forgotten to respond to Tanaka and Nishinoya since he spaced out, so the two just decided to get back to practice. 'Good, they're finally gone.' He thought as soon as he noticed that they walked away.

Tsukishima was now standing in front of a very visibly nervous Hinata and an indifferent Kageyama. He was trying very hard to not just burst out laughing at the way Hinata was fumbling and looking at Kageyama for support. "Ok so... we said this would be quick. Okay... Okay. So Tsukishima, what happened was that Kageyama and I were practicing kissing so that we have experience with our future partners." 

'He doesn't think I'd believe that, does he?'

Tsukishima went along with his plan from earlier. He was going to play along just to see how far it'd go and to see if they'd eventually tell him the truth. "Wow. Okay, that's cool. When are you guys going to get partners? Or are you going to continue "practicing" with each other until that happens?"

Tsukishima could see that Hinata hadn't thought that far ahead and Kageyama wasn't much help to Hinata. Just as Tsukishima was about to ask them another question, his attention shifted to Yamaguchi, who had just walked out of the locker room. Yamaguchi had his head hung low and he was walking pretty quickly.

Tsukishima started walking towards Yamaguchi. He then started quickening his pace since Yamaguchi was also speeding up. He had to start jogging to catch up to Yamaguchi and grab his bag so that he'd finally stop trying to get away."What do you want," Yamaguchi spat. 

Tsukishima paused for a split second, trying to think of what he was going to say without making things worse. "Look, I'm sorry for basically ignoring you and making you feel like shit. I wasn't even being that bad though, so maybe you were overreacting a little bit, but I'm sorry and I shouldn't have done that."

Tsukishima thought it was all fine now, but he was so mistaken. Yamaguchi let out a bitter laugh, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you think saying that is going to make me feel better? Tsukki, I know you're going through some shit but give me a heads up before you treat me like that, you asshole."

Tsukishima stopped talking and instead watched as Yamaguchi walked away. He couldn't let him leave just like that so he just gathered his thoughts together and said whatever his mind put together first was. "You know it's not that easy for me to apologize so easily so just stop being a little bitch and accept it already. God, since when were you this damn drama-"

*SLAP*

It echoed down the street and it was probably heard by so many other people who could be walking outside. "Out of all the people to talk bad about me... I never thought you'd be one of them, Tsukishima. Goodnight."

All that was heard were Yamaguchi's footsteps as he walked home and slowly they started to fade into nothing. Yet, Tsukishima was still standing there. He wanted to do something but he didn't know what he would do. There wasn't much to do so he just headed home, letting the guilt of that night swallow him whole.

That night, just like any other night, Tsukishima wasn't able to sleep. He was angry, angry at himself for saying all those stupid things. Why would he say something like that, especially to the person he most cared about? So what if he was going through some things? He shouldn't have taken it out on Yamaguchi. 

Yamaguchi was right, Tsukishima is an asshole. He didn't deserve Yamaguchi at all. As Tsukishima lay there, he could only think back to the scene of their argument. It was still fresh in his mind so he just thought about the things he didn't notice while he was still going through the shock of Yamaguchi slapping him. They were minor details but important to him, like when Yamaguchi had started walking back up to him, the look in Yamaguchi's eyes as he turned away from Tsukishima, filled with such sadness and betrayal. 

Tsukishima was sure that's all that'd be on his mind for, possibly, the next few weeks. There was so much guilt and it just kept piling up, making Tsukishima feel nauseous. He had texted Yamaguchi a couple of minutes after getting home but he had ignored them all. Tsukishima finally got up from his bed and was headed for the window. He already opened it and was about to climb out until he was hit with the smell of smoke and tequila. His dad was outside. 

Tsukishima cursed under his breath and went back to his bed. 'Does that asshole not have anything better to do? At this rate, he'd be polluting the air by the end of the year.'

He sighed, trying not to do anything stupid that would signal he was awake. He crept back to his bed as quietly as his body would let him and slid back into his sheets. 'Fuck it, I'll just think about it in here for tonight.'

He was laying there awkwardly, not knowing what to think about at first. There were so many things he had to sort so he picked them at random. Of course, his mind was going to choose the most recent thing so he just went with it. 'Hinata was slightly right, I guess. I am kinda jealous that Yamaguchi has a new friend.'

So what if Yamaguchi had another friend or suddenly had a girlfriend? He should be happy for his best friend, 'I don't know if I can even call him that after tonight,' instead of acting like a spoiled brat. He decided to talk to Yamaguchi and properly apologize the next day, if Yamaguchi allowed him, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been so long. I kinda lost motivation to write this but it came back so here I am :))

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing anything nsakjdk so please let me know if it sucked


End file.
